Moms for Liberty Summit Infiltrated by Sexual Predator!!!

Dear Ms. Tina Descovich and Ms. Tiffany Justice,

As spokespersons for Moms for Liberty, you know there is no group that has done so much to protect the innocence of America’s children as you! Whether it’s disappearing LGBTQ teens or exposing communists’ scheme to turn American children into “little sexual weirdo(s)” you’ve led our nation’s march to moral purity. It’s a full-time job so I thought I should warn you of something that snuck past you: a sexual predator has somehow infiltrated your “Joyful Warriors” national summit. You need to get rid of him before anyone notices.

It is not too late to avoid the backlash from Moms for Liberty member Shannon Rodriguez. She got a teacher investigated for the perversity of showing 5th graders a Disney movie featuring a male character “expressing feelings for another male character.” Wait until Ms. Rodriguez finds out that the surely unwanted “Joyful Warriors” guest has recently been found liable of sexually assaulting a woman and ordered to pay her a $5 million judgment. The victim described the attack: “He put his hand inside my vagina and curved his fingers.” You don’t want this person lurking in the dressing rooms.

The mysterious interloper will certainly draw a rebuke from Seminole County, Florida Moms for Liberty Chair Jessica Tillmann. It was her vigilance that forced the removal of two pages in a high school yearbook that featured the LGBTQ+ club that included definitions of “cisgender,” “nonbinary,” and “queer.” No way youngsters should head off to post high school education or the workplace with such filth besmirching their sinless souls. Ms. Tillmann is almost certain to lead a rebellion if anyone should play her the tapes of the gatecrasher in which he describes his approach to women: “I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. . . . Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.” This is not as bad as the yearbook’s “glossary of perverse sexual attractions and pronouns” but it could be a dangerous gateway.

You could suffer a revolt if Moms for Liberty member Brandi Andrews sniffs out the intruder first. Ms. Andrews successfully protested against a sexual education class utilizing “a video that depicts a laughing cartoon sponge as a clitoris (that) would promote promiscuity among young girls.” Thankfully, her warning was recorded:

“I honestly just envision a little girl going to school that day, not thinking a thing about this, she learns what a clitoris is. She goes home, now has the seed implanted in her and is wondering what that is, what that feels like and starts masturbating. What does that do for her future now?”

The future for Moms for Liberty’s leaders could be bleak if Ms. Andrews discovers the surreptitious intruder is under indictment in New York over hush money payments to an adult film actress to prevent her from tattling about their affair. This is not as corrupting as peeking at a video of a burbling sponge but contemplate the miserable future of any child attending “Joyful Warriors” who hears about the porn star payoff.

Good thing I noticed this oversight before the woke mob did. They’d start yelling that Moms for Liberty doesn’t care so much about sexual morality, that you are just part of a right-wing campaign to bring down public education. Not so!

I know you’ll act. I’m available when that speaking slot opens up.

A Friend

“In the darkness of secrecy, sinister interest and evil in every shape, have full swing. . . . Publicity is the very soul of justice.”—Jeremy Bentham

(I write about dark money, democracy (more like, demise thereof), and oligarchy. My book, Dark Money and the Politics of School Privatization, is now in print)]